Some footy shorts...

I dunno if anyone’s ever said this after a keeper has conceded nine, but Chris Kirkland for England! The Wigan keeper – desperately unlucky to be attributed an own goal after Spurs’ eighth cannoned in off the post and the back of his head – somehow limited Spurs to just the one in the first half, and kept the score closer to ten than fifteen in the second. The Wigan players are personally refunding their travelling fans, but their keeper should not have to share in the embarrassment.
Kirkland’s only England cap came back in 2006, his family famously winning close to £10,000 after his father placed a bet that the young keeper would one day play for England when he was just 13. He’s since become the forgotten man of the England goalkeeper’s set-up. But with neither David James, Robert Green nor Ben Foster convincing when Capello asks them to step up and seize hold of the No.1 jersey, I might just put a little bet of my own on that the Wigan stopper will be on the plane to South Africa. One thing’s for sure, with that defence in front of him, he’ll be getting a lot of practice the next few months!

Jermain Defoe's five goals stole the headlines after Spurs’ drubbing of Wigan on Sunday, but his supply-man from the right wing deserves an equal share of the plaudits. As well as bagging the fifth himself, Aaron Lennon got a hat-trick of assists, displaying a mastery of the final ball which he so frustratingly lacked a year ago. Spurs’ fourth goal showed a telepathy between the pair: Lennon reached the by-line and delivered an inch-perfect cut-back, Defoe showing brilliant movement to dart from the back post to the front and sweep home on the volley into the near corner. Their irresistible in the white of Spurs, and yet put in relatively meek displays in the white of their national side. Forget what colour your boots are Jermain, why not try and send the boys out there wearing their Spurs shirts for England.
Except that, knowing our press – who have been the 2018 World Cup bid’s worst enemy in a way totally abhorrent to the bid rivals’ media – we’d be the ones that dob them in!

The self-fulfilling prophecy of Darren Fletcher:
The Scottish midfielder has gone from also-ran to main man in the United midfield, and it seems to me, all because of that red card in the Champions League semi-final. As Xavi, Iniesta and co. brushed United aside in Rome, both Red Devils’ fans and press commentators bemoaned tough-tackling Fletcher’s absence, forgetting that he was never exactly first name on the team-sheet. Except this year, he is, and delivering the kind of performances – and the kind of sumptuous half-volleys needed for any best-bits package – that will put him in the running for players’ prizes at the end of the season.
Thankfully, when we’re told that John O’Shea will one day emerge from the shadows to be one of Europe’s best defenders, we’ve always got this to fall back on, the quip that I saw filling many a billboard in America: ‘Economists have successfully predicted nine of the last five recessions’.

Finally, the group stages of the Champions League seem worthwhile. And I don’t say that just to gloat at Liverpool’s elimination.
The 2005 winners travelled to Debrecen last night knowing that their qualification for the knockout stages of the premier club competition was not in their control. They did their bit, but Fiorentina’s defeat of Lyon taught Rafa Benitez a hard lesson - that no longer can an English side turn up to the group stages with comfortably short of their ‘A game’ and take qualification for granted.
Group F was the most fascinating, though, where, despite the presence of Barcelona and Inter Milan, it is the Russians Rubin Kazan - enjoying their first Champions League campaign – who held the cards going into the penultimate round of games. They handed Barcelona – and particularly Inter Milan, who went down 2-0 in the Nou Camp – a reprieve by failing to score at home to Dynamo Kyiv. As it stands, a victory for Jose Mourinho’s side in the San Siro in two weeks’ time will still ensure qualification. But, putting paid to the old excuses that Russian and Ukrainian teams will only cause problems to the big boys when they’re at home – factors such as weather and travel time making the east of the continent ‘a hard place to go’ - Rubin beat Barcelona in the Nou Camp last month. Interestingly, Group F is the only one where all four teams were domestic title winners.
Alongside Rubin and Dynamo – who may still qualify themselves – come CSKA Moscow, still in with a chance of making it out of Group B, and Romanian side Urinea Urziceni – managed by former Chelsea winger Dan Petrescu – sitting pretty in second place in Group G. Eastern Europe is having a strong season in the Champions League. Are the rest getting closer to the best? And, if the number of games played in Europe is eventually reduced – as it surely must be – will it be the third and fourth place teams from England, Italy, Spain who miss out, as opposed to the champions of ‘lesser’ footballing nations who are increasingly holding their own?
Of course, we’ll be oblivious to all of this, as ITV show the almost completely irrelevant Man United – Besiktas game this evening.

Blackburn midfielder David Dunn is a joy to watch – boundless energy, enthusiasm, a new-found defensive work ethic now he’s been given more responsibility as part of a central-midfield pairing, and fantastic ability on the ball in a charmingly loping, not-a-natural-athlete kind of a way. That is all.